Paris

Let me impart an impression or two (since, I'm an impressionist now--wah wah) about the non-sight seeing part of the trip. Firstly, if you ever come across the 'Agile Hostel of Paris,' don't be fooled. It is actually a 'Comfort Inn.' That was a pleasant surprise. Unpleasant surprise- to read the sign on the door at midnight our first night that said, 'Outer doors lock at 10pm. Use the key code to get in.' I stood dumbfounded for a while before realizing it was written on our key card.

Another pleasant surprise is that the metros stop running at 1am. Hey, don't blame me for being out so late, it was free museum night until midnight. You would've done the same. Can't get enough Van Gogh and Monet. Lastly, what's the deal with crepes? I still think people who like crepes have been sold a bill of goods. Feel free to weigh-in. French pastries on the other hand, that's something I can get behind. When you can make an entire metro station smell like a bakery, instead of a Manhattan urinal, now that's something to center a Sunday night gathering in Provo around.

Now for my fun facts of Paris:

Versailles

Treaties, kings, Marie Antoinette, need I say more? Probably. Before Louis XIV got his hands on this place it was his father's hunting lodge. The hall of mirrors- one of the most famous rooms in the world. The gardens- amazing. The French are very skilled at planting trees in straight lines. And now I know why gold is so precious. The gold on the facade and gates make this place look like a painting.

The Louvre

Home to 350,000 artifacts, only a fraction of which are on display. The Mona Lisa, Venus de Milo, the Code of Hammurabi (Holla Dad!). On the outside, Voltaire's nose is falling off. So there's a big net cast over him until they decide what to do with it. Now I know where Apple Inc. got the idea for their 5th Avenue underground store.

Arc du Carousel

Built by Napoleon in 1808, out of line with the axis of Paris. Chariots 'gifted' from St. Mark's cathedral in Venice, and figures from the Brandenburg gate in Berlin. Now Brandenburg gate is said to have figures positioned to keep one eye pointed towards the French embassy.

Notre Dame

The story goes that an impatient Napoleon took the crown right out of the Pope's hands and put it on himself during the coronation ceremony. The building, in disrepair, was planned for demolition, but saved (at least in part) by the fame of Victor Hugo's book about the hunchback.

Pont Neuf

Of 'Bourne Identity' fame. Built by Henry IV. Had the first raised pedestrian sidewalk. Great idea for travelers who usually had to walk through an open sewage system. The sides are lined with sculptures of faces. They are said to come from the party celebrating the finishing of the bridge when Henry IV got his royal sketchers to draw 300 of his present associates. One has a guy sticking his tongue out. Another looks like he's about to barf.

Institute of France

Inside which one of the academies houses 'the immortals,' defenders of the French language, from outside impurities. Win - French uses its own word for 'computer.' Fail - 'Le weekend.' Also, the gender of the 'ipod' is male.

Bridge of Arts

Does anyone know the film that started the tradition of putting a lock on a bridge with your significant other, and throwing away the key into the river? More importantly, does anyone ever read this far?

Gardens of the Royal Palace

Where the French revolution began with a citizen jumping on a table, and shouting, "Citizens, no time to lose, the firing of Nicer is the ringing of bells..." and two days they storm the Bastille on the 14th of July. Only to find there is no ammo there and only 7 prisoners. They later storm the army hospital and get 30,000 muskets.

Opera House

Of the novel 'Phantom of the Opera' fame.

The Eiffel Tower

Is actually painted three different colors to give the appearance of one. Built in 1889- commemorating 100 year anniversary of Bastille day as the entrance to the World's Fair. only intended to stay up 20 years but a radio antenna made it quite useful during wartime. Was the tallest structure until 1930 when the Chrysler building beat it.

The Obelisk

Around 3300 years old from Luxor. By the Champs-Élysées, and next to the fountain from 'The Devil Wears Prada.' (Holla...anyone who has seen that). The gold on the tip was actually donated by Yves Saint Laurent.

Arc de Triomphe

Underneath is the tomb of the unknown soldier and the eternal flame. Wasn't so eternal in 1998 when Mexicans did an old fashioned 'Boy Scout-put out' on it after Brazil lost the world cup to France.

Musée d'Orsay

Also built for the World's Fair. I really liked this one. Van Gogh, Rodin, Monet. Impressionism amazes me. (Holla Sister Fischer).

Montmartre

Molin Rouge

Means 'Red Windmill.' Built same year as Eiffel Tower. Currently 80% of the dancers are Australian.

Van Gogh's House

Strange guy. Great paintings. They said he cleaned his brushes by sucking the paint off.

The Windmill of Montmartre

When Russians laid seige to Paris they destroyed the 15 of the 16 windmills so the people wouldn't be able to make wheat. Site of Renoir's windmill painting.

The Nimble Bunny Cafe

Where Picasso would trade art for food. The owner later became a very rich man.

Church of the Sacred Heart

Built as thanks to God for not being wiped off of the map by the Prussians in 1871. Has Roman, Byzantine, and Gothic architecture. Separate bell towers, domes, and gargoyles.

Le Bateau Lavoir

Where Picasso lived with Modigliani. Picasso was enraged when a robber came in thrashed their apt and stole some of Modigliani's work and not his own. Picasso and Modigliani had a falling out and later Modigliani broke into Picasso's home and stole his work.